You'd think it was rocket science......

Most people can at least spray paint, right? I thought so. How hard can it be? I mean, they put it in a can for convenience so it must be easy. Not so much. Let's just say that spray paint and I are not forming any lasting bonds.

My husband brought home this table for me several months ago. By "brought home" I really mean found on the side of the road somewhere and thought of me. That my husband drives around on garbage day thinking of me should worry me, shouldn't it? Whatever. I'm calling it a present.

 Feel free to ignore the rest of the stuff on my porch - I'm dealing with limited space.

Note that I said he gave this to me several months ago. After he brought it home, I promptly went out and bought spray paint for it - primer and a fabulous teal (both Krylon - Bahama Sea is the teal). And then I waited. It was too cold, too wet, too hot outside. I couldn't get motivated to paint. Then the kids went back to school, and I had some time on my hands. I had a naked table and a couple cans of spray paint. How could I go wrong? Let me count the ways....

1. Read the can first. It tells you to shake the can for 2 minutes before you start spraying. Might have been nice to know as I was cursing the $%^#@! can because it wouldn't spray correctly.

2. Spray in thin layers. Ooops. Probably what caused the dripping was me trying to cover in one layer. Again, should have read the can.

3. Next time buy 2 cans of primer.....even if your project should only take 1. I started to get nervous about running out, so I sprayed it even thicker.

4. Be patient. Not my strong suit. By the time I was done priming the table, waiting an hour to dry, and then putting on the color, I was over it. As in, huh, there are some bald spots, oh well. Over it.

Here is the masterpiece. (And don't look too closely.)

Yes, thanks for asking. That is my container garden and drying rack in the background.

She's cute and will serve her purpose. Once I put a lamp and a couple books on her, she'll be just fine. Besides, if she was perfect, she would not fit into my household.
 
In the end I think I like the messier brush and a can application method. We'll see. I'm gonna spray paint a lamp next.(You can start praying for us now.)

Suz

Morning Trials

 I hate mornings. It’s not that I don’t want to get up and greet the day; it’s just that I’d rather greet it a little later.

My boys went back to school this week. Thank the Good Lord. I wasn’t sure I would make it through any more “bonding” time. Boys make me tired. And irritated. And nauseous sometimes. (Ever smell teenage boy? Biological warfare if I can figure out how to bottle it.) Back to school means a nice break for mommy, after I get them out the door – preferable without a meltdown (usually mine). As I said, I hate mornings. The one thing I hate worse than mornings? Having a deadline in the morning. This particular deadline comes in the form of a school bus, or two. Things were okay on day one, first day excitement and all; but day two sucked. Royally.

This morning’s convo with aforementioned teen –

Me: Oh good you’re up. Did you already take a shower like I asked last night?

A: Uh…..no.

Me: Do you remember me asking you to do that when you woke up?

A: Uh….yeah.

Me: OK, so why didn’t you? (Minimal AM patience has now diminished to infinitesimal.)

A: Uh…...(He’s a real talker this one.)

At this point he stands up to start taking off his clothes…..in the living room.

Me: Forget it. Come here and let me smell you. (I know, right?) Did you put on deodorant?

A: Uh….yeah.

Me: Really? Today?

A: Uh…no.

Me: Go. Now. And don’t lie

.

Within the next half hour we had similar conversations about breakfast, wearing gym shoes, bringing gym shoes to school and wearing sandals, bringing socks, finding socks, finding his gym shoes….And then the bus company called to say the bus was out front waiting for him.

Patience gone, I’m a raving lunatic and he’s sullen (not so new – either one). I did, however, have the presence of mind to reopen the front door and yell, “I love you, Have fun!” as he ran for the bus.

All of this made me rethink our morning routine. And then, since I was on a roll, our evening routine. Which led to these:

I’ve seen a number of these on a couple dozen blogs. Just a printed chart in picture frame. I used Velcro to attach a dry erase marker to each frame. Each day that they complete both the Morning and Night routines without reminders, they earn a marble in their jar. When someone collects 30 marble, he gets to go to a movie with me. ($1 show, but if you don’t tell, I won’t – a movie’s a movie.) G is much more excited than A, but he usually is. I’m planning on this working. I need this to work. I’ll let you know.

And for those you following along, I'm still unemployed, but at this stage of the game I think we're calling me a stay-at-home-mom. I prefer hausfrau.

Suz

Why is it sticky?

I'm trying to get on track by cleaning our home. Call it an early spring cleaning, if you will. I figure a girl can't be unemployed for three whole weeks and have nothing to show for it. I made a list, as all good Type A girls do, then promptly ditched it in favor of cleaning the fridge. I'm not talking about the inside of the fridge, which gets overhauled regularly. I'm talking about the outside.

Now, I'll be honest; I never really noticed how dirty our white refrigerator was, what with all the pictures, magnets, checkerboard, business cards, ultrasound photos......you get the drift. I removed everything from the front (and sides). I scrubbed. I bleached. I Simple Greened. I scrubbed some more. Look how it shines. OK not really shining, but clean nonetheless. With the front looking so spiffy, I figured I should clean the top, too. A friend recently pointed out how clean her kitchen looks with nothing on top of the fridge. Thanks, W, just what I needed...peer pressure. I removed the bags of chips, and the coin jar. At that point I realized that the top of the fridge is where my husband puts kitchen items to die. I found my travel mugs (4), a pasta measurer (not sure where that came from), a couple of vases, some random lids and the dustiest party tray on the planet. Under all of the this treasure (notsomuch) was dust. This was no normal dust. It's sticky and dusty. I don't know how it happened or where it came from. I prefer to think that the dust mutated and I've made a rare scientific discovery. The other options are just to atrocious to bear. It took the better part of an hour to clean off the top of that bad boy. Again a combo of bleach, Simple Green and sheer determination (and maybe an open window to let out the noxious fumes). Now it's clean. I'm not putting anything else up there - ever.

I am, however, inviting you to a dinner party at my place. BYO Step Stool. No way I'm wasting such a clean surface in this house.

When I Grow Up...

I don't know what I want to do with my life. I'd like to stay home, have a garden, learn to really sew, clip coupons, blah, blah, blah. That is not my reality. Right now I'm trying to make the little decisions: Do we move to Virginia or stay in Chicago?

My sister lives in VA. I loved it there the one time we visited. My husband loved it. The boys want to live near their cousins. It's a big decision. I hoping for a sign from God....like a big booming voice yelling, "Pack it up and get on with it, Girl!" Right now I'm just looking at jobs and houses to rent. I guess if I find the right thing, I'll know.

An Unplanned Stay-cation

I was laid off yesterday. It was unpleasant. You can say that it was just as unpleasant for the messenger, but really, no it wasn't. I'm the one that had to call home to tell my stay-at-home-dad husband that I'm now going to stay home, too. So, like all good recently laid off people, I got drunk. It was fun. I spent the time with two friends who got laid off with me. Now, a full day later, I'm trying to decide what I want to do with my life.

My kids are in school. What the heck am I supposed to do all day? Yeah, I can fill a week or so with cleaning, purging, down-sizing, etc., but what then? I know a lot of women who are happy at home. I could be, too, with the right trust fund. I can kill some time with the crafts I'm always saying I'll do; but let's be realistic, if I really wanted to do them BL (before lay-off) I would have made the time. I think I may just like the idea of doing projects.

This brings me to revised purpose of my blog. What is Suzanne going to do? How long will she last before she cracks? What will she do to fill her time?

Follow me and see.